Process Pages | Boone Center Programs | Boone Center for the Family | Pepperdine University

Process Pages

talking

Why and how we teach

The Process Chapters discuss why young adult years are critical for relational and spiritual development and help leaders utilize our unique approach to maximize effectiveness.

To learn more about the rIQ philosophy and approach click on the tabs below. 


What's in the Process Chapters

Table of Contents

  • Working with Young Adults
  • Leader Skills
    • Personal Presentation Style
    • Presentation Techniques
    • Dealing with Difficult Issues
    • Using Technology Effectively in Presentations
    • Large-Group Presentation Skills
    • Small-Group Skills
  • Starting rIQ
    • Involving Young Adults
    • Formulating Your Plan
    • Implementation
    • Getting the Word Out
    • Flow Chart for Large-Group Presentations
    • Flow Chart for Small-Groups
    • rIQ Mentoring
  • Follow-up and Assessment
  • Connecting with Your rIQ Trainer
  • Conclusion: Goals and Purposes
  • Afterward: How Relationship IQ Was Born

Why Young Adults

Relationship IQ specifically targets ages 18-28 because in these years people decide who they will be and make decisions that effect their entire life and future generations. 

Relationships are hard. Reaching a certain age doesn't necessarily mean a person is able to create and sustain vibrant relationships. Relationships take work, intentionality, skills, and knowledge about people. Our society has not been particularly good at equipping young people to maintain healthy relationships. Young adults are hurting relationally and need guidance.

Young adults are in a specific stage of life that makes relationship education particularly potent. Today's young adults are simultaneously experiencing two of Erik Erikson's psycho-social stages of development - identity formation and intimate relationship formation. While they are still in the adolescent phase of trying to figure out who they are, they also ascertaining if they can be successful in romantic relationships. When romantic relationships go poorly, they risk slipping back into a "regressive and hostile reliving of the identity conflict" (E.H. Erikson & J.M. Erikson, The Life Cycle Completed (New York: Columbia Press, 2008), 71). How often have you seen a broken relationship rip away a young adults' confidence and sense of self?

While figuring out who they are and if they can be successful in romantic relationships, they are also differentiating from their family of origin. As they figure out who they are separate from their parents, parents advice tends to overwhelm them. This process of differentiating from family often involves a separation from God as well. Many young adults will pull away from God in this stage because their view of God is so strongly tied to their relationship with their parents. They hold God at a distance as they try to decide what they believe or put their relationship with God on hold. At a time when young adults are making significant life decision and desperately need advice, they can find it extremely difficult to receive advice, suggestions, or even questions from their parents and might have a hard time connecting with God. Young adults need people to come alongside them and help them learn to navigate adult relationships and see God's desire to be in relationship with them.

Relationship IQ is able to provided needed information about healthy relationships at a critical time in young adult development. rIQ helps young adults form relationships with trusted mentors. rIQ opens doors to conversations about God. The young adult years set life's course. How successful they are relationally greatly impacts their faith, their family, and their career. Relationship IQ focuses on young adults because the need and opportunity for transformation are immense.

How We Interact

Come alongside.

It isn't about being cool, having all the right answers, or imparting our vast knowledge to them. It is about sharing what God is teaching you and learning together how to love God and each other. "I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." - John 15:15b

We aren't simply imparting information—we are providing intentional space for transformation. We can't cause transformation; only God does that. We can, however, come alongside young adults and help create space for reflection, application, and intentionality. We don't lecture, preach, or rely only on group process—we teach in discussion and activities and experience.

We share life together, recognizing that we learn from those we serve.  We are servant leaders, asking God to work and speak through us.

How We Teach

Although what we teach is of ultimate importance, we believe that the process—how we teach about relationships—is just as important when working with young adults. In rIQ, we use a variety of methods to reach people with diverse learning styles.  There are discussions, vignettes, videos, scripture readings and re-tellings, role plays, and activities including working with play-dough, pipe-cleaners, collages, and cardboard castles. 

Relationship IQ presentations are interactive, relevant, and practical. These pieces are written into the rIQ curriculum in the Relationship IQ Leader's Manual.   The way young adults experience the material helps them not only remember the content, but also apply it to their lives in meaningful ways. This isn't just more head knowledge.  Young adults walk away from every session knowing at least one thing they want to do differently in a relationship. 

A large part of how effective the presentation will be is up the presenter. Relationship IQ Training enhances leaders' skills and ability to connect with young adults. Consider attending a training to experience and practice our engaging presentation style.