Why You So Obsessed With Me? | Resources | Boone Center for the Family | Pepperdine University

Why You So Obsessed With Me?

It is really exciting when you start liking someone: you want to be around them all the time, you think about them all the time, and you want to talk about them all the time. Where do you cross the line from cute crush into creeper crush?

Have someone who likes you and is taking it too far? Need someone to back off a little bit? This article is an answer to your obsession questions.

You develop a crush it's harmless at first but gradually you start thinking about him/her all time, you look at her Facebook to see what's going on in her life or maybe look through all her pictures, you text her all the time and even text her several times when she doesn't reply. You might interrogate his friends to find out more information about the person. You might know things about him that he doesn't know you know. You stare constantly in his direction and you can't seem to look away. You, my friend, have developed an obsession. You don't mean to be crossing the line, you just have a crush on him/her. This "crushing" style might make the person you have a crush on feel uncomfortable. To help curve your obsession you can do several things...

1. If you look at her Facebook several times a day, take initiative and hide her statuses off your feed. Maybe block her as a friend, just until your obsession dies down. You could even be a real champ and inactivate your Facebook for the time being.

2. If you text him constantly and text even when he doesn't reply, you can delete his contact. If he wants to talk to you, he will talk to you. Edit his name in your contact list to remind you not to text him: ex. DONTTEXTKebDoak (Keb gave informed consent). Being proactive like such really does help. It just takes time.

3. If you talk to her friends to find out more info on her or if you think about her all the time, try to distract yourself from doing so. When you find yourself about to talk to her friends about her bite your tongue (figuratively speaking) and switch the topic. When you start thinking about her immediately do something else, go exercise, go talk to friends, or go volunteer and do some community service!

4. If you stare at him constantly make sure you situate yourself so you're not facing him. For example, have your back to him so it's less likely that you'll turn around to stare.

Now what if you have someone who has developed a creeper crush on YOU? Try placing boundaries with him/her. It is totally acceptable to confront the person and be honest how her behavior is causing you to be uncomfortable. Just make sure you use I-statements and not YOU-statements (ex: I feel uncomfortable when I receive several texts from you in a day. I would appreciate it if you would text me only when it is important.) If he stares at you an uncomfortable amount you could put your back to him, sending body language that discourages his behavior. If the person's obsession is really making you uncomfortable and maybe makes you feel unsafe contact an authority, your RA, SLA, DPS, or the Counselor Center are great resources for this.

We all get crushes, but we should make sure our "crushing" style stays cute and doesn't cross over into the obsession zone. You can always come talk to someone from Relationship IQ if you need any help at all. After all, it's in our job description.

-From your friends here at rIQ

Written by: Shaina Kohli, rIQ Intern 2012, Pepperdine University class of 2013