4 Helpful Truths During Marital Conflict

Oftentimes during marital conflict, it's easy to point blame at the other party — without recognizing or even noticing our role in the fight.

Here are four helpful truths and their corresponding verses to aid you, or those you counsel, during marital conflict.

Truth #1: It's not all their fault.

Marriage, close friendships, work relationships all require us to take a good, long look at ourselves and acknowledge how we get in the way of strong, stable relationships.

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure, you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but does not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:1-3)

Truth #2: I recognize that I am part of the problem.

It is hard and takes much courage to first look at ourselves versus looking at the problems of our relational partners, The Apostle Paul gives us a good lesson in this reality when he confronts his own painful and confusing cycle of behaviors.

"For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:14-15)

Truth #3: I must be willing to be part of the solution.

No one's partner is perfect, however, everyone can follow Paul's suggestion and do his own work first.

"For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat." (II Thessalonians 3:10)

Truth #4: Even when our problems feel out of hand, the Holy Spirit is on our side.


Learning to live in the peace of Christ, brings peace to our relationship even in difficult times.

"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." (I Thessalonians 5:23-24)

Reflect: What truths and verses would you add to this list?